I am Where I am Because of Where I Have Been

Cecy Dlamini, 19, lives in Soweto, South Africa with her siblings, nieces, and nephews. After her mother passed away from complications with AIDS 6 years ago, Cecy has been responsible for caring for her family. Through the help of Ikageng Itireleng AIDS Ministry and Keep a Child Alive, Cecy has been able to raise her family and attend school. As she has a passion for writing and journalism, Cecy has decided to share her story with you.

Chapter 2 - My Life was Forever Changed

Our mother made certain that we went to school and that we did well. I was always the best student in my class and I always got the highest grades and that made her very proud. She was always present at all my prize giving ceremonies, even though she had to walk very long distances in order to be there for me. She unconsciously instilled an unquenchable thirst for knowledge and education.

I remember a few months before she passed away, she had fallen severely ill and needed urgent medical attention. I gave myself a day off from school in order to take her to our nearest clinic which is about a kilometer from my home. It was one of the coldest days I have ever experienced, but I still wore my school uniform as it was the only outfit I had. I had outgrown it and I remember feeling like my legs were freezing and wiping mucous from my mother's nose as we waited in the cold to be attended to. We must have been there for three hours before we were helped by one of the nurses. My mother made me promise not to tell the others about what had happened because she did not want to worry them. From that experience I learned that unconditional love meant truly putting another person's needs way ahead of your own, at any cost.

The months subsequent to that day were consciously stored away in a secret safe in the back of my mind and I intentionally forgot the combination so as never to see its contents again. My mother's health deteriorated and one Wednesday evening I remember seating next to her as she tried to sleep, in so much pain that with each sound she made I felt my insides rip open like an old piece of cloth. It was three hours later that one of the children made a noise that was loud enough to brake the trance-like state I was in with my dying mother. I will eternally be grateful for that last night with her because it is what gave me the closure I so desperately needed and the opportunity say my goodbye and cry with her until I could cry no more.

A social worker who was doing house calls recommended that she be sent to a hospice the next day. That Saturday at 8:15 in the morning, Sheila Dlamini drew her last breath. The hospital called to notify us and my legs felt as if they were glued to the floor, a sharp pain consumed me. From that moment on, my life was forever changed.